Elizabeth May: When women wish men would stop talking
“I felt like screaming at the television what Joe Biden finally said to President Trump in their debate: ‘Will you please shut up man?’” Elizabeth May writes.
The feeling of being constantly talked over, ignored, dismissed and interrupted, while men tend not to even notice. I felt like screaming at the television what Joe Biden finally said to President Trump in their debate: “Will you please shut up man?”
Mansplaining is one thing, but Mike Pence’s performance was a whole other level of patriarchy and privilege. As the moderator, Susan Page, tried to fairly end his speaking time twenty-two times — “Thank you … thank you, Mr. Vice President,” she’d say, trying to cut him off respectfully. She eventually resorted to reminding Pence of the Commission rules to get him to stop talking. Despite all that, Pence never even acknowledged the interruption. In fact, he acted as though he had not heard the annoyance of her voice and continued on blabbering.
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Throughout the debate, Senator Kamala Harris was also very polite and respectful. She stopped talking at the end of her allotted time, but that was when I started yelling at my television: “Don’t stop talking. Keep going. He’s eating up all your time.” Eventually, Harris pushed on past her own time limits. Why? Because as women we know some men will not stop talking and will break rules to smother every other voice in the room.
The spectacle runs deep in the ways we are socialized; how we are brought up as good little girls. Good little girls do not interrupt. Good little girls stick to the rules. Our socialization as women makes it hard to compete in an arena called “politics.”
For me, the thirteen years as the only woman leader of a federal political party has been a constant challenge to be heard. I have never heckled. Not once since my election as an MP in 2011 have I interrupted in Parliamentary debate. It is against our rules, but I’ve seen male politicians pull that off daily.
When I have interrupted in leaders’ debates, I’ve been described as rude. Still in every one in which I participated, I had less time than the other leaders just because I did not jump in and talk over them as often.
It is hard to be heard when a chorus of male voices are shouting you down. For women, in trying to be heard our voices move up the vocal register. Women in Parliament feeling the need to raise their voices to be heard run the risk of sounding “shrill.”
I will never forget the first time that our now Deputy Prime Minister and Minister of Finance spoke in Parliament. Chrystia Freeland had just won in a 2013 byelection. Back in those days, we were seated in the same row, one seat separating us.
Chrystia Freeland’s debut was greeted with a dull roar of abuse from the Conservative benches. A reporter in the press gallery tweeted, “Use your big girl voice, Chrystia!”
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So, women in politics face men who talk over them. Women in politics are far more likely to observe the rules and try to be polite. And women in politics face far more abuse from their male counterparts.
My successor as leader of the Greens, the amazing Annamie Paul of Toronto Centre, will have the same challenges I have faced. The Green Party will continue to be the only federal party led by a woman. I hope Annamie Paul will find just the right, respectful words to communicate, “Will you please shut up man?”
Elizabeth May, O.C. is the Member of Parliament for Saanich-Gulf Islands and Parliamentary leader of Greens in the House. Follow her at @ElizabethMay.